I opened the message in its talons and it summoned me to a cave 52 miles outside of Provo, Utah. Sometimes silence speaks volumes.Īs I was walking to Walgreens on Friday, a carrier pigeon with seven wings landed on my shoulder. If Pantera continues to refuse to comment on the rumors that I am making up, you can pretty much bet your life savings that they will be back on the stage in 2013. Where there is smoke there is fire, or so the saying goes. Often, when a person or group refuses to confirm or deny a story it is because there is some truth to it. Pantera, for their part, have yet to comment on the rumors. Remember last month you thought Picasso had come back from the grave and told you to spray paint the cat orange and speak only in Aramaic? That wasn’t true either. “Honey, why don’t you go lay down for a while? You’re doing that thing where you are confusing fantasy and reality. She claimed that the rumors are baseless, that I had skipped a dosage of my medication again and that I was ‘allegedly’ pretending that things that I make up are really happening. However, my wife adamantly denied the possibility of a Pantera tour. For sure,” said Paulie, a diehard Pantera fan and owner of nearly 300 heavy metal bobblehead dolls, in a recent interview with Tyranny of Tradition. Paulie Reznik, the guy we hired to fix the hole in our roof from last week’s storm, confirmed that a Pantera reunion could happen. The point is, this Pantera reunion can happen if someone, like maybe the Koch Brothers or George Soros or somebody big puts about 100 million in front of them. He even makes fake treasure maps and ‘finds’ them in strange places that he hid them hours earlier. Sometimes, he acts like he’s a pirate and digs enormous holes in his backyard looking for treasure. He ended up having to have surgery and now he can’t drink milk or ginger ale. My cousin Johnny ate a bag of thumbtacks once for 20 dollars. I looked at Matt and said, “But there would a lot of money on the table. Matt replied, “Yeah! I’d travel anywhere in the country to see them, but Vinny and Phil are on really bad terms since Dime died. We were discussing the merits of “The Great Southern Trendkill” and I mentioned, “Wouldn’t it be great if they got back together!?!?!”
The rumors began during a conversation last week between my friend Matt and I. A Pantera reunion would, no doubt, be the concert event of 2013, if not of this decade. The band was a major force in heavy metal, topping the billboard album charts in 1994 with their release Far Beyond Driven. Pantera, whose seminal Vulgar Display of Power record turned 20 this year, have been broken up since 2003.
In a story that may set the entire metal world on its ear, several sources have speculated that Pantera may reunite to play a series of shows in 2013.